Coming Of Age

What’s in a number? It’s a good question.
I guess my answer would be… whatever you put into it.
I turned 55 on Sunday. I could be depressed or distressed.
But I’m not. In fact, I’m actually quite joyful about it.
That may sound like someone trying to fool himself, but it’s not.
That’s because I’ve learned over the years that almost every situation can be looked upon in a positive or negative light.
Age is at the top of that list.
You don’t have total control over what happens to you. That’s especially true of getting older.
But you do have control over how you react to things.
A woman named Jackie who I worked with a couple decades ago was almost giddy on her 50th birthday. I asked her how she attained that attitude. She told me she looks at birthdays as accomplishments. That she’s reached a certain level. That’s she’s aged… like a wine.
I’ve adopted her philosophy since then. I used it on my 40th birthday, on my 50th birthday and now on my 55th.
On all birthdays, I take a moment to look back on what I’ve accomplished. I’ve been married for 33 years. I have two wonderful grown daughters. I have a delightful grandson with another grandchild on the way. I put myself through college and I’ve made a living writing for more than three decades. I’ve kept myself in good health. The list goes on.
I urge everyone to do the same on their birthdays, milestone or not. First, tell everyone it is your birthday. Don’t hide it. Second, take a moment to think about what you’ve accomplished. It’s a good day to reflect on the positive.
It’s also a good day to start something new. I took up the drums on my 50th birthday. I started learning French this year.
Have some fun, too. I’m visiting my grandmother this week. She turned 96 on Sunday. We’re actually going to Denny’s and both using their senior discounts. Awesome.
In particular, Baby Boomers should adopt this practice. It’s a good example to set for the rest of society. It’s also could go a long way toward changing the way our society looks at age. Age could start being viewed as an asset and not a liability.
Remember the saying… I’m not older, I’m better.

Civility Lost

We see and hear the examples weekly… if not daily.
Sometimes it’s on the streets, in our daily lives.
A customer at a store will be rude to the clerk. A person will yell out an expletive while walking with friends in the middle of a sidewalk.
Many times it’s on television or on the airwaves.
One analyst will abruptly interrupt another speaker, harshly rebuking their point of view. A sports commentator or a reality show judge will criticize a contestant in an unnecessarily cruel way. And the audience will love it.
The abrasive, short-tempered demeanor of our country is obvious. It’s been written about quite a bit the past decade or more.
Some blame the breakdown of morals. Others point their finger at the 24-hour, 7-day cable news cycle. You have to fill those hours and to be entertaining, you need to spice things up.
President Obama has spoken to the issue. Just this weekend, he told CBS News’ Bob Schieffer that just because we have disagreements doesn’t mean we can’t be civil to each other.
Few disagree that civility has been lost in our culture.
Most observers focus on the loudness and the sharpness with which we deliver our comments.
That is true and it is a problem. However, there is another element to this downward slide.
That is, voicing one’s opinion at all.
We’ve seen two recent examples of such outbursts.
One was Congressman Joe Wilson blurting out, “You lie,” while the president was speaking live on national television to a joint session of Congress. Whether you agree with his assessment or not, it seems apparent the venue was not the right time or place to speak up. The tea party rallies the following Saturday were a proper podium for such dissention. The floor of the House? Probably not.
The same is true for Democrats who used to grumble and boo when President Bush was speaking. In both instances, the president of the United States was addressing the nation. Can you be quiet for an hour? Is that too much to ask?
The second instance happened at the MTV Awards. Country singer Taylor Swift had just won the trophy for “best music video” when Kanye West took the microphone from her and announced to the crowd he felt Beyonce should have won. Are you serious?
These two outbursts were high-profile, but they are not isolated. People speak up all the time, voicing their opinions at parties, meetings and other social occasions. They wedge in their views whenever and wherever they can.
There are a number of social phenomenon at work here. One is the advent of on-line social networks such as Facebook. Those Internet communities are designed for people to publicize what they’re thinking. At any time.
Most of the electronic banter is harmless. What people had for lunch or where they’re going on vacation. But more and more, you see polls being shoved onto the page and users’ opinions being thrust upon the cyber neighborhoods.
It’s part of the computer age. But I think there is another factor here, one that has grown more slowly.
Baby Boomers have never been shy to speak up or even shout out. It began in the 1960s during the civil rights, women’s rights and anti-war movements. Perhaps we needed to yell at that time to have our voices heard over the din of the status quo.
However, it seems we never stopped. As we got older, we continued our boorish behavior and we taught the generations behind us to be just as strident.
There is some valor in standing up for what one believes in. Society does need people to speak up.
The question is… when should one do so and how loud should they talk.
We would be well-served to re-learn the adage, “There is a time and place for everything.”
Baby Boomers can help lead the charge. There are 78 million of us. We’ve always been able to sway societal trends when we’ve wanted to.
We can begin simply by being well-mannered in our day-to-day activities. We can become better citizens and better neighbors. It really isn’t that hard.
Mostly, we can show by example how to debate or comment. There is a time to speak one’s mind. And there is a time to be quiet and listen.

Ted Kennedy's 10,000 Days

He was the youngest of nine children, the last of four boys.
Edward Kennedy was never supposed to be the leader of a large, powerful political family.
But he before he was a teen-ager, his eldest brother, Joseph Kennedy Jr., was killed in World War Two.
Before he was 30, his next oldest brother, President John Kennedy, was assassinated.
And when he was 36, his only surviving brother, Senator Robert Kennedy, was also gunned down.
The following year, a woman he was with late at night drowned after Ted Kennedy drove off a bridge in Massachusetts.
Because of that accident, he didn’t run for president in 1972 or 1976. In 1980, he tried to unseat the incumbent Democratic president, Jimmy Carter, but lost after a hard-fought primary battle.
Ted Kennedy lived almost exactly 10,000 days after that bitter defeat.
Those final years got off to a rough start. He and his first wife divorced. There were rumors of alcoholism and womanizing. His son, Teddy Jr., lost a leg to cancer. All as the Massachusetts senator was turning 50.
A lesser man would have thrown in the towel. A weaker man would have continued his downhill slide.
Not Ted Kennedy. A spark somewhere inside him was lit. Through the darkness of death, defeat, divorce and despair, a light shone through. And Ted Kennedy saw his path.
He didn’t run for president in 1984. Nor did he toss his hat into the ring in 1988.
Senator Ted Kennedy decided he didn’t need the presidency. He realized he could do more good as a senator. As a father. As an uncle. As a grandfather. And, yes, as a husband to new his new wife, Vicki.
Ted Kennedy became the lion of the U. S. Senate. He led the charge for health-care reform, a cause that appears on the edge of victory. But he was much more than a single-issue legislator.
Senator Kennedy wrote more than 300 bills that became law. Among them was legislation that helped senior citizens, the disabled and the poor.
He was a man who was strong and consistent in his liberal beliefs. But he also knew how to reach across the aisle and make friends with people like Republican Senator Orrin Hatch of Utah.
He became someone to admire. He was an idol to Vice President Joe Biden and a source of inspiration for President Barack Obama.
Ted Kennedy became a leader of the Democratic Party and, most importantly, he became the revered patriarch of a powerful political family.
Edward Kennedy… the ninth of nine children, a man who staring down the abyss when he was 48… made the most of his final 10,000 days.
What are you going to do with yours?