Tuesdays With Shea

As I write this, my 15-month-old grandson sleeps in the room next door. He lies on his stomach in a portable crib, wearing a diaper and shirt. His eyes are comfortably closed and his Mickey Mouse doll rests at his side.
It’s the room where our youngest daughter slept as an infant. A room in the back corner of the house where both our daughters grew up.
It’s a scene I enjoy every Tuesday now. For I am not only a grandfather. I am a grandfather who is lucky enough to have his daughter, son-in-law and their son living a half-hour away.
Tuesday is a day I anticipate and relish. It's one of my two days off during the week and I take full advantage. When Shea is here, the everyday worries and concerns of work, bills and world events melt away. They fade into the background for a precious few hours.
Our routine every Tuesday is much the same as it was today. At 8:30am, I picked up Shea at his home. His father answered the door, holding his brown-haired, brown-eyed son. Shea had his “sippy cup,” his Mickey doll and the clothes on his back. He doesn’t need anything else. Our home has become a grandparents’ house with an adequate amount of diapers, toys and food a toddler can chew.
Shea and I drive here through the back roads. No need to get on a freeway today. We listen to Ray Charles, his favorite artist, and look for any big truck that might cruise by.
Our morning at G-Pa’s house begins with a dose of Sesame Street. We Tivo the show, so there is always one available. It’s been fun to get reacquainted with Grover, Ernie and Big Bird, the characters my children grew up with. It’s also been fun to get to know Elmo, Zoe and some of the folks who came along after our daughters stopped watching this educational and entertaining program.
Next, Shea and I move on to the back yard, where there are balls to throw and a sand box to play in. Then, it’s the toy room where he can look at books or stack some blocks.
Eventually, it’s to the front room where the c-d player sits. Like most of our family, Shea loves music. And he loves to dance. He also is a 21st century child, so, yes, he knows how to hit “play” to get the Motown disc spinning. His favorite is the first track -- “Ain’t Too Proud To Beg” by The Temptations. The kid has taste.
After an hour at a nearby park, it’s time for lunch. A little outside play, then time to wind down for the nap. Shea sits on my lap with Mickey. We watch the last 20 minutes of Sesame Street. That’s when “Elmo’s World” hits the screen. At the show’s conclusion, Oscar The Grouch reads his pet worm, Slimey, a book and the tiny creature falls asleep.
Shea and I say “night-night” to a half-dozen items in the house. Then, it’s off to Dream Land for 90 minute in the portable crib in what is now the spare bedroom.
When Shea awakes, my wife, Mary, will be home from her job as a pre-school teacher. Mimi will want some one-on-one time, so G-Pa will hang out on the sidelines and watch with delight.
It’s a scenario I wish for every parent. The chance to play and enjoy your children’s children. To re-live the joys of child rearing without the heavy lifting of every-day parenting.
It’s something Baby Boomers should strive to achieve. If you are fortunate enough to have grandchildren, figure out a way to live within an hour of them. Whatever sacrifice you have to endure to make this happen, you will be repaid in spades with love, enjoyment and contentment.
This isn’t just for us either. Having grandparents nearby is good for parents and grandchildren alike.
In prehistoric times, grandparents played a vital role in the village. My friend, Sacramento State anthropology professor Gerry Drawhorn, tells me tribal elders filled three important jobs as historians, advisors and care-takers of the little ones. The hunter-and-gatherer parents were busy defending the village and collecting food. They relied on the grandparents to complete those other tasks.
In modern society, those functions have faded, but elders are still needed, possibly more now than they were a few decades ago. Baby Boomers can begin a transformation back to the extended family. For starters, we can retrieve the role of care-takers simply by being grandparents. By being there for our sometimes overworked and harried children. By being there for our grandchildren.
As for me, I’ll savor this day and then get ready for next Tuesday. That’s when Shea and I can have a few hours together… just the two of us.