Civility Lost

We see and hear the examples weekly… if not daily.
Sometimes it’s on the streets, in our daily lives.
A customer at a store will be rude to the clerk. A person will yell out an expletive while walking with friends in the middle of a sidewalk.
Many times it’s on television or on the airwaves.
One analyst will abruptly interrupt another speaker, harshly rebuking their point of view. A sports commentator or a reality show judge will criticize a contestant in an unnecessarily cruel way. And the audience will love it.
The abrasive, short-tempered demeanor of our country is obvious. It’s been written about quite a bit the past decade or more.
Some blame the breakdown of morals. Others point their finger at the 24-hour, 7-day cable news cycle. You have to fill those hours and to be entertaining, you need to spice things up.
President Obama has spoken to the issue. Just this weekend, he told CBS News’ Bob Schieffer that just because we have disagreements doesn’t mean we can’t be civil to each other.
Few disagree that civility has been lost in our culture.
Most observers focus on the loudness and the sharpness with which we deliver our comments.
That is true and it is a problem. However, there is another element to this downward slide.
That is, voicing one’s opinion at all.
We’ve seen two recent examples of such outbursts.
One was Congressman Joe Wilson blurting out, “You lie,” while the president was speaking live on national television to a joint session of Congress. Whether you agree with his assessment or not, it seems apparent the venue was not the right time or place to speak up. The tea party rallies the following Saturday were a proper podium for such dissention. The floor of the House? Probably not.
The same is true for Democrats who used to grumble and boo when President Bush was speaking. In both instances, the president of the United States was addressing the nation. Can you be quiet for an hour? Is that too much to ask?
The second instance happened at the MTV Awards. Country singer Taylor Swift had just won the trophy for “best music video” when Kanye West took the microphone from her and announced to the crowd he felt Beyonce should have won. Are you serious?
These two outbursts were high-profile, but they are not isolated. People speak up all the time, voicing their opinions at parties, meetings and other social occasions. They wedge in their views whenever and wherever they can.
There are a number of social phenomenon at work here. One is the advent of on-line social networks such as Facebook. Those Internet communities are designed for people to publicize what they’re thinking. At any time.
Most of the electronic banter is harmless. What people had for lunch or where they’re going on vacation. But more and more, you see polls being shoved onto the page and users’ opinions being thrust upon the cyber neighborhoods.
It’s part of the computer age. But I think there is another factor here, one that has grown more slowly.
Baby Boomers have never been shy to speak up or even shout out. It began in the 1960s during the civil rights, women’s rights and anti-war movements. Perhaps we needed to yell at that time to have our voices heard over the din of the status quo.
However, it seems we never stopped. As we got older, we continued our boorish behavior and we taught the generations behind us to be just as strident.
There is some valor in standing up for what one believes in. Society does need people to speak up.
The question is… when should one do so and how loud should they talk.
We would be well-served to re-learn the adage, “There is a time and place for everything.”
Baby Boomers can help lead the charge. There are 78 million of us. We’ve always been able to sway societal trends when we’ve wanted to.
We can begin simply by being well-mannered in our day-to-day activities. We can become better citizens and better neighbors. It really isn’t that hard.
Mostly, we can show by example how to debate or comment. There is a time to speak one’s mind. And there is a time to be quiet and listen.