All In The Family

Thanksgiving today is a time to focus on family, food and football. It wasn’t always that way.
Originally, Thanksgiving was a harvest festival, a time to give thanks for that year’s bounty of crops.
The Pilgrims gathered in Plymouth, Massachusetts, for their first Thanksgiving in 1621. A year earlier, a cold, dreadful winter had killed half the members of their colony. That following fall, however, the colonists had a robust corn harvest and they celebrated with a three-day festival in which they cooked ducks, geese and turkeys.
The tradition of Thanksgiving spread throughout the states over the next century and a half. In 1789, President George Washington declared Nov. 26 to be Thanksgiving Day. In 1863, President Abraham Lincoln designated the final Thursday in November as “a day of thanksgiving and praise.” Finally, in 1939, President Franklin Roosevelt set Thanksgiving Day as the fourth Thursday in November. His reason? To give the nation’s merchants one extra week of holiday shopping season.
Over the decades, Thanksgiving has evolved into not only a day to give thanks but one to celebrate family. Relatives gather on this day. The smell of roast turkey wafts from the kitchen. The football gets tossed in the back yard. It’s a healthy, heartwarming tradition.
On Thanksgiving Day 2007, this might also be a good time to assess the status of family in the United States. I’m afraid the picture isn’t necessarily a rosy one.
The web site, “divorcemagazine.com,” has produced some poignant statistics compiled from the U.S. Census Bureau and other government agencies. It does report the divorce rate in the United States dropped to 3.6 per 1,000 people in 2005, the lowest since 1970. However, that low rate appears to be a consequence of fewer people getting married.
The on-line magazine reports 59 percent of the U.S. population is married, down from 62 percent in 1990 and 72 percent in 1970. Only 52 percent of marriages make it to their 15th anniversary. The magazine also reports 10 percent of the population is now divorced, up from 8 percent in 1990 and 6 percent in 1980.
Perhaps more startling, only 63 percent of children in the United States now grow up with both biological parents. That’s the lowest rate in the Western world. What happens to the kids who aren’t raised under the traditional household? The magazine reports that fatherless homes account for 85 percent of kids with behavioral problems, 71 percent of high school dropouts and 85 percent of youths who are behind bars.
Obviously, this is no small problem. It is a plague that is infecting virtually every segment of our society.
However, the situation is not irreversible. Baby Boomers can certainly help alter this course, if they are willing to step up. We’ve done a lot of good things in our lifetime, but unfortunately marriage isn’t one of them. Our generation’s divorce rate is around 33 percent, twice our parents’ generation. We are a prime reason almost half the marriages in our country end up in divorce.
It’s time to make amends. Strengthening the family circle can be our generation’s shining achievements.
There are many ways to accomplish this. First, for those still raising families, put time and effort into this responsibility. Help your children with their homework. Attend their after-school or weekend events. Make sure the family has dinner together. All sitting at the same table at the same time, with the television turned off. Ask them how their day went. What they learned.
Nothing should be higher on your priority list than your spouse and your children. Give them attention, give them love, give them roots, then give them wings. Children who are raised properly make better citizens, pure and simple.
Once you’ve sent your offspring into the world, your job is not done. Even when your children get married and have children of their own, you are still their parents. They still need your guidance, probably as much as young adults as they did when they were teen-agers.
If at all possible, live close to your children as well as other relatives. Re-create extended families, like in the colonial days. Establish a loving, supportive village for your sons, daughters, nieces, nephews and grandchildren.
There’s no time to waste on this goal. Let’s use this Thanksgiving to recommit ourselves to the idea of family. Do what you can to bolster the bonds within your circle.
This Thanksgiving and every fourth Thursday of November.