To Grandmother's House

It is a four and a half hour journey by car.
A pleasant drive from my house through California’s Central Coast region. Through the farm fields of Salinas, the river basin of King City and the rolling hills of Paso Robles. A serene stretch of territory depicted in numerous novels by John Steinbeck.
The 250-mile trip ends in the small town of Nipomo, the final community in San Luis Obispo County before you cross into Santa Barbara County. What so special about Nipomo? What compels me to drive there several times a year?
It’s the town where my grandmother lives.
This past week, I made an annual pilgrimage to her home. I do so around November 1 of every year. That is the date she and I share a birthday. This year, she turned 94 the same day I hit 53.
The trip to Gram’s house isn’t always convenient. Sometimes I have to squeeze it into my two-day weekend. But I always do it. Why? There are a number of reasons.
For starters, I am celebrating the fact I still have a grandparent who is alive. Not many people my age are so lucky.
There are also practical reasons. I like to check in and see how she’s doing. Among other things, I rode in her car for her morning voyage to McDonald’s to make sure her driving abilities are still OK. I’m happy to report they are. In fact, she drives a little too fast.
Her health, I’m also happy to report, seems fine. I actually think she’s better this fall than she was a year ago. Her memory is solid. Her mind is sharp. And her hearing is better than mine. I hope I’m in as good a shape when I’m 74, much less 94.
I checked around her house to make sure everything is running smoothly. The sprinkler system still works. There are no leaks from the roof into her attic. The new kitchen floor is laid down nicely. And, there is no shortage of photographs of her 9 grandchildren, 23 great-grandchildren and one great-great grandchild.
However, the main reason I travel to Nipomo is to simply absorb my grandmother – her personality, her wit, her humor, her perspective. It’s something any younger person should do and it’s something I encourage all members of my generation to make a habit.
Baby Boomers haven’t always embraced the folks who raised them. In our heyday, we encouraged the attitude in our society toward youth that is still prevalent today. We called ourselves the “younger generation.” We said don’t trust anyone over 30. We bucked the system and ignored our elders.
Perhaps it is time we put an end to this practice. Reverse the trend in our culture where youth is king and older folks are viewed as people who should be quiet and stay out of the way.
Although we have a lot we can teach the generations younger than us, there is still a lot Baby Boomers can learn from the people a generation or two ahead of them. These are people who lived through the Great Depression as well as fought and won in World War Two. Many of them are still around and most of them will still give us their time and wisdom, if only we ask.
Boomers should take advantage of this opportunity. Tap into that vast reservoir of knowledge. Pick those experienced brains before this generation disappears.
Take a few moments. Turn off the cell phone. Blacken the computer screen. Sit down in a chair, face to face with that person in their 70s, 80s or 90s. Ask them what they’ve seen. What they’ve gleaned over the years. What they think of the world today. Answer them with a “yes, sir” or “yes, ma’am.”
If nothing else, Boomers might learn how they should approach life when they become the most senior people in this country. When they replace their parents’ generation at the front of life’s constantly moving train. What it feels like to be the oldest person in the room. What it means to be a societal elder.
This behavior can also set a standard for how middle-aged people should treat the folks older than them. How to show respect for grandparents and great-grandparents. Give the younger portion of our population a primer on how we would like to be treated when our final years have descended on us.
All you have to do is make that drive to grandmother’s house, sit down, be quiet for a moment and listen.