Sandwich Time

I was talking to my old college friend, Mark, when I was in Los Angeles the other week.
Mark moved back home two years ago after 25 years in Boston.
The primary reason was to take care of his 84-year-old widowed mother.
It’s not a full-time job. Mark still drives to work through the L.A. commute every morning and evening. He still gets his exercise in on most days. He goes out at night a couple times a week.
But taking care of his mother is an attention-consuming obligation. Mark lives in the house where he grew up in the Santa Clarita area. While juggling his personal obligations, Mark makes sure the housekeeper shows up when she’s supposed to. He checks in on the driver who comes almost every day to escort his mother on her errands and get her out of the house. He makes sure she takes her medication and doesn’t do anything to hurt herself.
On the morning we met for coffee, Mark phoned the driver to check in. He also talked with the housekeeper about doing some of the laundry his mother still insists on doing.
Mark told me he does a balancing act between taking care of his mother and still allowing her to maintain her self-respect. He has to take over her bills soon. She is losing track of those. But he noted he needs to gradually do so. He plans to have them work together on the bills at first before he assumes control.
It’s a situation many Baby Boomers are facing. A stage in our lives sociologists have labeled as “the sandwich.”
Many Baby Boomers have children in the 20s and 30s who still need some guidance and attention. At the same time, many also have parents who are in their 70s and 80s and need someone to take care of at least part of their lives.
In fact, the Pew Research Center estimates 71 percent of Baby Boomers have at least one parent still alive. They estimate one in eight Baby Boomers are taking care of an elderly parent and at least one child under 18. With people living longer, those statistics are bound to rise.
Over the next decade or two, Baby Boomers will be faced with decisions on rest homes, medical care and financial resources. They’ll need to decide if they should change jobs or move to another town to help their aging parents.
Money is another issue. The average cost for a nursing home is more than $6,000 a month. Assisted living facilities cost $3,000 monthly. Home health professionals run about $20 an hour.
It’s a challenge Baby Boomers will face as they themselves age. There is no doubt it takes a physical and mental toll on those who get sandwiched.
However, this is not a duty we should run from. Baby Boomers should embrace this challenge as something that needs to be done and done well.
It can be a shining achievement of our generation. We can take care of the folks who took care of us when we were younger. And we can set an example for the younger generations on how we should be treated when we hit our 70s and 80s.
My wife and I right now are watching over my 86-year-old mother-in-law and my 94-year-old grandmother. We also have a 59-year-old brother-in-law with Alzheimer’s disease.
It does stretch us thin sometimes. We both work full-time at demanding jobs. Our children are in their 20s and do need occasional assistance.
Yet, my wife and I realize this is a time when others need us. It is a time we can muster our energies and show the patience and caring we are capable of.
Some day we may need someone to take care of us. Hopefully, we will have shown them the way.

Green With Age

Baby Boomers are going gray as they age, but they are apparently also going green.
As the Baby Boom generation reaches its 50s and 60s, they are returning to a cause from their youth – the environment.
We were in our prime when the annual Earth Day celebration began in April 1970. We talked a lot about conservation, recycling and protecting our trees, water and air. We actually put programs in place and jump-started movements.
Now, it appears Boomers are returning to those ecological roots.
According to AARP magazine, a recent consumer survey found people over 55 are more likely than any other age group to conserve energy in their homes. The new wave of seniors is also using technology to get their point across.
One of the leaders is 64-year-old Joyce Emery. The Iowa grandmother of six co-founded an online community at “greenseniors.org.” The “Green Granny” dispenses advice on that page as well as points visitors to news stories and other organizations. On the web page on this day is an aerial shot of the Hawaiian Islands taken from space. The caption mentions how fragile the atmosphere above the lush paradise is and how action needs to be taken to preserve it.
Baby Boomers are apparently in partnership with the generation ahead of them, too.
Max Lindberg, 76, records podcasts from his Arizona home and broadcasts them from his web site, “thelindbergreport.org.” The show features interviews with other activists. On the page today is a podcast with Emery.
Robert Lane, 90, helped create the web site “grayisgreen.org.” On his page, he states the older generations exploited the Earth when they were younger and they now need to save it for their grandchildren. A “Pledge to the Planet” form is available.
The environmental crusade is one of many Baby Boomers can take up as they age. Many of us have raised our children. Some of us are retired or semi-retired. We have the time and experience now to make a difference.
It appears our generation is off to a good start. In December 2006, the Corporation for National and Community Service reported volunteering in the United States had reached a 30-year high, jumping 32 percent between 1989 and 2005. Baby Boomers are leading the charge. Almost 31 percent of Boomers between the ages of 46 and 57 are volunteering, the best percentage of any age
group in the country.
In addition, Boomers and other older Americans are putting in more time after they sign up. In 2006, the average volunteer over the age of 55 was donating 226 hours a year compared to 132 hours annually by volunteers aged 30 to 39. More than half of people over the age of 55 who don’t volunteer said they would help if they found the right opportunity.
“A lot of us were activists in the 60s,” says Barbara Rodgers, a veteran anchorwoman at KPIX-TV in San Francisco. “A lot of us were out there, really believing we could make the world a better place. A lot of us got disillusioned. A lot of us got tired. But I think we can be re-energized.”
“We have just as much opportunity to change the world today as we did in our youth,” says Mike Helle, an Oregon Boomer who is the father of two and grandfather of two more. “Our challenge is to turn our efforts of self-gratification to acts of helping others.”
President John Kennedy asked us to think about what we could do for our country. Perhaps it’s time to heed his call. A good place to start might be with the air we breathe and the water we drink.